Leadership and Persuasion Influencing Without Authority

• Feedback is the Engine of Growth: We do not learn interpersonal skills from experience alone; we learn only through active feedback, such as 360-degree reviews, mentoring, or videotaped exercises.
• Feelings Predominate Over Facts: Psychological evidence suggests humans are driven by feelings first and select facts later to justify those emotions; therefore, being liked—or at least not disliked—is a prerequisite for influence.
• Master Your Own Ego: To be persuasive, you must abandon the saga of your righteousness and the need to be the smartest person in the room, focusing instead on what you want the target to think, feel, and do.
• Stay Out of the Latitude of Rejection: When dealing with judgment calls, identifying and avoiding a person's latitude of rejection is critical; once you make a statement that triggers a negative emotional reaction, the persuasive opportunity is closed.
• Tailor Communication to Social Styles: Effective persuaders do not use the style they are personally comfortable with; they adapt their message to match the target's profile, whether that person is an Analytical (data-driven), Driver (results-oriented), Expressive (story-oriented), or Amiable (relationship-oriented).

How do you persuade a large group, such as a Board of Directors, that contains different social styles? 
First, conduct a stakeholder analysis to identify the actual decision-maker. If you must persuade the whole group, ensure your presentation hits all four bases: provide data for the analyticals, a clear recommendation for the drivers, a compelling story for the expressives, and establish trust/credibility for the amiables.

How can I build confidence when trying to influence senior stakeholders?
Rigorously focus on your BATNA (Best Alternative to a Negotiating Agreement) or your worst-case scenario. By facing the possibility of failure squarely in the eye before the meeting, you prevent fear from lurking in the back of your mind and causing you to get rattled during the presentation.

What is the primary difference between negotiation and persuasion? 
Persuasion is a slow and free process (costing only words) aimed at changing what someone believes. Negotiation is a fast but expensive process that requires making concessions to change what someone does.

Is there a quick way to identify a leader's preferred style if you don't know them well?
The dirty secret is to simply ask them before you begin. Ask if they would prefer to start with the detailed history and facts, or if they would rather you get straight to the point with a recommendation.

What should you do if you notice someone is reacting negatively to your argument? 
You must monitor non-verbal cues, such as a flushed face or stiffening body language, which indicate you have entered their latitude of rejection. Once you are in that zone, the conversation is effectively over. The key is to stop before it becomes an argument.